The difference between the north and south:
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> The North has Bloomingdale's, the South has Dollar General .
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> The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses ..
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> The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.
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> The North has switchblade knives; the South has .45's
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> The North has double last names; the South has double first names.
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> The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races .
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> North has Cream of Wheat , the South has grits.
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> The North has green salads, the South has collard greens .
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> The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish .
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> The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt ..
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> FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . ....
>
> In the South : --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in
> a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
> Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live
> for.
>
> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store... Do
> not buy food at this store.
>
> Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural,and 'all y'all's' is
> plural possessive.
>
> Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'
>
> Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use
> it.
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> Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't
> understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a
> transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or
> 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this
> way. All of them are in denial about it.
>
> The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper .
>
> Be advised that 'He needed killin..' is a valid defense here.
>
> If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay
> out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
>
> If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest
> accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store..
> It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go
> there.
>
> Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they
> are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
>
> In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is
> to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.
>
> AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think
> we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the
> oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.
>
> Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I reckon your life
> will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it.
>
> Your kin would get a kick out of it too!
>
>
1 comment:
So true. I especially like the valid defense, the last words he'll ever say (lol), and the kittens in the oven.
And that oh-so-necessary-trip to the store. It might do somethin', y'know. Who knows when we'll be able to get out again. Besides, it's a great time to socialize. Might not see them neighbors for a while.
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